The Superwoman Complex

Now, before I start, I should make a disclaimer that this could be titled the “Superman Complex” as well.  I, however, am a woman and have no idea how the male brain works.  Appropriately then, I will title it “The Superwoman Complex”, not because I know how each and every woman’s brain works, but because I know, as a woman, this is how my brain works.  And to write from experience is the most authentic and genuine I can be.  That being said, I have no doubt that men quite possibly struggle with this very same thing, so feel free to keep reading.

I often feel as though I am not enough unless I am consistently active.  It is not enough for me to simply wake up, go to my classes, do my homework and be done for the day.  No, every minute of my time must be scheduled or I am not being productive.  I am not accomplishing if I am not busy.  Perhaps I am not the only woman who feels this way: who feels as though she will not grow up to be anything unless she is constantly “going”.   As women I think we often get stuck in this “Superwoman complex” as I call it. 

The Superwoman complex is the idea that we can do anything and be everything all at the same time.  We develop this thought that taking time for ourselves is selfish and unnecessary.  That we better excel in every single class we take and keep up those GPA’s.  That we need to be involved in every single organization and we better be in a leadership position for at least two or we will never be hired in the future.   If a friend is having a rough day, we better be ready with a tissue and words of wisdom.  Remember to call our parents, our grandparents.  Turn in our application for the honor society.  Get a job so we can pay our student bills.  Be charming, put together, and know how to work a pair of heels.  Be loving and womanly and kind and attentive.  But careful, if it’s a guy make sure you’re not too attentive because that’s clingy…oh, and limit your emotions.   And in the middle of all this, we would hate to miss out on anything so we say yes when asked to social events even though we have approximately zero time.  Because we are Superwoman and we should be able to function on two hours of sleep and still run the world the next day.  The Superwoman Complex.

            But here’s the thing, it’s not healthy for us to try and be Superwoman.  Yes having goals, aspirations and being involved is a great thing to strive for, but when are we going to draw the line?  When are we, as women, going to start waking up and realizing that it’s okay to take fifteen minutes, an hour, a day to ourselves?  That we are human, and being human means that we have imperfections and limits.  That even though we may feel like we have to be on a continuous sprint just to keep up with the world, that we are enough.  Put all that effort you use trying to be “enough” into just being yourself.  Because what is beautiful and amazing and mind-boggling is that there is only one you in this entire world.  On this planet there is only one you with your combination of talents, dreams, and fears and you bring something uniquely “you” to this world that another person does not and cannot.  You are human and being completely and unapologetically yourself is one of the most awe-inspiring things you can be.  You don’t have to be “everything”, because the world already has Superwoman. All it needs now is for you to be you.